


Hold Me Like A Controller

by TeaLovingTooru



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Alpha Jeremy Heere, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Fluff and Angst, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Masturbation, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Oh My God, Omega Michael Mell, Pining, Requited Unrequited Love, wink wonk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-15 14:25:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12322788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeaLovingTooru/pseuds/TeaLovingTooru
Summary: At age thirteen, there he was, Michael in the bathroom, experiencing his first heat and not even knowing what that would really mean.What it would mean for his friendships, his connections with his parents… what it would mean for himself, really. He definitely didn’t know what it would mean for one Jeremy Heere, but in the end, finding out would take a lot more than a simple guess or a question. It took days… weeks… months… years. It took years until Michael finally got an answer to what his life would be after that day.





	1. Michael In The Bathroom.

It was a strange feeling to describe, a burn in the pit of his abdomen, a wetness beginning to seep between his legs and a type of hunger that he didn’t quite understand, but quite desperately wanted to fill.

 

At age thirteen, there he was, Michael in the bathroom, experiencing his first heat and not even knowing what that would really mean.

 

What it would mean for his friendships, his connections with his parents… what it would mean for himself, really. He definitely didn’t know what it would mean for one Jeremy Heere, but in the end, finding out would take a lot more than a simple guess or a question. It took days… weeks… months… years. It took years until Michael finally got an answer to what his life would be after that day.

 

After the day he collapsed in his bathroom while getting ready for his first day of the eighth grade.

 

After the day he got filled to the brim with so much constant anxiety and worry of what people thought of him and if it really _did_ matter what he dressed like now.

 

Of course, by the time he was twenty-six and far away from any kinds of petty kid drama, a thing he was so fucking thankful for that it occasionally caused his lungs to get a little too full until he coughed out a bit of the tears welling in his eyes.

 

But. Hmm… maybe we should back up a little bit before we get too far ahead of ourselves and ruin the story, if any of you are still reading the ever, probably boring life of one Michael E. Mell.

 

* * *

 

 

With a groan and a quick start to his feet, Michael pulled himself out of bed on what he considered to be one of the most important days of the fall. The first day back to school. Not that anyone other than Jeremy would really know, but he had an aptitude for school and was always vibrating with excitement on the first day or really just... any day of the school year.

 

He didn't really know why, he'd never had many friends to meet up with after the break, but he always made sure to get there on time, be punctual and precise and make a good impression on his teachers, wanting to give them a true since of character and what kind of student he would be. 

 

Ha. Bet you're wondering what happened, huh?

 

Simple. On his way to the shower, a hop in his step and a tune in his throat, he ignored the tingle in his stomach as he turned the corner and that, everybody, was Michael's first mistake of the morning. Other than. Y'know. Fucking waking up in general. 

 

So there he was, stepping onto the cold tile floors had sent a shiver up his spine, a sudden highly uncomfortable feeling spreading throughout his whole body, a fever he'd never felt before creeping into his veins and pinching against his abdomen. He let out a whine, dropping his towel and grabbing the counter in an attempt to steady himself before he could collapse. However, within even a second, he was on the floor, a puddle beginning to form between his legs and oh, did he want to understand what was happening to him. 

 

By this point, he was definitely crying aloud, whimpers and whines slipping from his lips as he tried to understand, begged his muscles to let him stand up. He needed to get. He needed his mother. He needed Jeremy. He just... he needed someone. Someone to help him. 

 

But right then, Michael was stuck there, in the bathroom by himself until his mother would get up and find him there, whining and crying for help.

 

* * *

 

 

So skip forward three or so years, Michael Mell, age 17. 

 

What about the situation had really changed...? 

 

He was still left alone, tucked away in his bedroom to head out a week of lewd thoughts and things he had previously thought to joke about in the presence of his closest friend, but now... he couldn't even do that. Because now, the thoughts melded. The lewd acts and his best friend had managed to seep into some twisted up sequence, taking up his mind and thoughts even when he  _wasn't_ knuckle deep inside himself.

 

Well... ok. Those thoughts tended to me more vanilla, ranging from finding it cute to how Jeremy had this weird taste to mixing vanilla ice cream and cranberry juice, which Michael thinks is fucking gross, but ok, all the way to  _"God, I really wish you loved me back..."_. 

 

But when the doors were closed and he was caught in the fever, he was stuck with the thoughts that most hormone riddled teenagers would have on a daily, but other than during his heats, his sexual prowess was tame, which had previously had been described to him as a trait of his omegan side. 

 

Omegan side.

 

Ha.

 

Nearly four years and it still catches him off guard sometimes.

 

_He, Michael Mell, was an omega._

It wasn't a bad thing... well. It wasn't  ** _always_** a bad thing. 

 

But God, right now... it was both. 

 

Because, God, right now, his stomach was tight and clenching around a toy as he could only plead for more. By this point, his voice was scratchy and his cheeks were streaked with tears, the exhaustion of this cycle weeks soon coming end vibrating in his bones and telling him that he'd probably be good to go after this round, then to take tomorrow off to familiarize himself with his medications and get his body and scent under control. 

 

But the bad part.

 

The bad part was Jeremy.

 

The best friend he was constantly hiding from, just to run away and finger and fuck himself to, because yes, that is exactly what he is doing.  

 

Since he'd presented, he'd been embarrassed.

 

No. Being an omega wasn't embarrassing.

 

Michael Mell just...  _Michael Mell just wasn't omega enough._

 

Yes, the stereotypes were ridiculous and we all know about the timidity and the typical, soft beauty lines and so many other things that he just... didn't posses. And that didn't bother him, because he knew a lot of omega's who had the same problem, people he'd met in counselling who had _literally **the exact same fucking problem.**_

 

He didn't hate being one and he wasn't embarrassed to be one, he just felt he stole the title from people who better possessed the qualities that actually  _did_ make an omega. 

 

Because... yes. There are qualities that all omega's share, that it seemed he didn't. 

 

And yes, he had considered that maybe he did have those and that he just hadn't discovered them, but what kind of bullshit is that...? How does one find them? His mom had said maybe the right mate would bring it out of him, but hey, that was complicated, because who would want to be with him as a romantic interest if he couldn't even find any friends other than Jeremy...?

 

~~If he couldn't get over Jeremy...~~

 

Guh. 

 

Why do things have to be so fucking complicated...?

 

Why can't they just be easy?

 

He bets things'd be easier without all of this secondary bullshit getting in the way.

 

All of this self doubt and wonder over whether there is someone somewhere else in the world wondering the same thing: "Did someone mix up our secondaries and curse us forever?"

 

So for now and hell, maybe for forever, Michael was stuck to hiding his secondary gender from his peers and hoping for the best, wishing that everyone would leave him alone and that he could just be normal. Not the freaky kid who had to shove suppressants in his mouth in the bathroom stall like a druggy, occasionally skipping cycles just so it didn't look suspicious to miss one week every four months like most omega's did. 

 

For now, he was stuck with the clean up, standing slow on shaky legs and walking back into that same bathroom and taking a deep breath as the same tiles cooled his feet in contrast to the plush carpets of his bedroom.

 

He was simply... Michael in the bathroom, cleaning his toys and getting his showering supplies ready so he could properly wash for the first time in a week and God, did he look forward to that one.

 


	2. A Guy That I'd Kinda Be Into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha...
> 
> Hahahahaha...
> 
> Guys, I am so sorry for the long wait!! I got swept up in school with my exams and things and I was honestly in a huge tornado of death. 
> 
> But I am here now!! This update is kind of messy, but it is more so to segway into the main plot, I guess. It's weird. Just. Please, accept my offering. <3

"Jeremyyyyyyyy." 

 

"Mm."

 

The omega glowered.

 

"You know what I love, Jer?"

 

"Mm..."

 

"When my crush actually listens and pays attention to me."

 

"Mmhmm."

 

He scoffed. 

 

_I wonder how many times I've confessed to him without him even hearing it._

 

He slowly moved his body, fixing his posture until-

 

"Oh, Michael, what the Hell!?" He sputtered. "Why is your foot in my face!?"

 

"Oh, you like it." He smirked before his expression went sour. "But oh. My foot is in your face because you have once more joined the null side of reality where you forget that I, your best friend, no longer exists."

 

Jeremy glared at that thought, grabbing Michael's ankle and pulling it into his lap, massaging the skin gently.

 

"Michael, you most definitely exist in all of my worlds." He sighed. "I just... space out sometimes."

 

The omega felt the need to hide his face, though he knew there was no point when his face was pointed downward, his hair covering most of his cheeks from his shower.  

 

"Y-You can, uh- you can stop rubbing my feet now, Jer..." 

 

"Huh?" He looked towards Michael, smirking when he saw the flush there. "Maybe it's you that likes it, then?"

 

His eyes widened.

 

"J-Jerem-" 

 

"Hey, Jeremy, can you- oh. Hey, Michael."

 

"H-Hi, Mr. Heere..."

 

"Son, why are you holding his foot...?"

 

"That is a good question that I have an answer to-"

 

Michael yanked his foot away, mumbling something about 'awkward timing' and 'embarrassment of the elders'.

 

"Michael, are you seriously embarrassed?" Jeremy asked once his father had left the room.

 

"Yes. I am. Because my fucking foot was in your goddamn hand."

 

"You know, I really can't tell if this is sarcasm or not-"

 

"It's not sarcasm, Jeremy! I am embarrassed!"

 

"Dude... why? It's not like we were doing anything. I was literally just touching your foot."

 

_'I'm embarrassed because we weren't doing anything and yet I still melted in your hands. Because it was literally just my foot and I almost fucking whined.'_

 

That's what Michael wanted to say. 

 

But he didn't. 

 

Instead, he pulled his knees in and hid his feet under a blanket, hoping that if he didn't see them, the thought and memory would go away.

 

_It's annoying. He can do literally almost nothing to me and I end up a damn mess..._

 

He sighed.

 

So much for their relaxing evening.

 

* * *

 

 

"Michael, are you ok?"

 

"I'm fine. Why?"

 

"You just seem on edge and honestly, a little bit clingy."

 

Michael tensed.

 

"Do... do you hate that?"

 

The blue-eyed boy scoffed, looking down at the person in his lap as though he were insulted.

  
"I am your best friend. Of course I don't mind." 

 

"Thank y-"

 

"But I mean. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were like an omega in preheat, y'know? All clingy and bashful? Sorry if that sounded weird, that's just kinda... how you seem, I guess."

 

_Oh..._

 

"Oh."

 

"Oh?"

 

_He's actively been around an omega in preheat before...?_

 

"N-Nevermind." He sighed, sitting up and sliding off of the bed. "I actually gotta go. I forgot I had something to do."

 

"Oh... are you coming back when you are done?"

 

_No._

 

"Um... maybe. Depends on how long it takes."

 

"Alright! Well, see ya, Michael!"

 

"Yeah... see ya."

 

_For a long time... I thought that he was a guy that I'd kinda be into if we got the right chances, but..._

 

_Now that we have them... I don't know what I was thinking, because it's not like he'd want me anyways._

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So like... I'm a bit late to this crowd, but... please... accept me... I'm just a lonely fucking Sophomore, trying to make her way through life with musicals and fanfiction about my gay sons. 
> 
> I know that these secondaries probably aren't the ones the ones people would generally associate with them, but I had this idea the other night and I couldn't really get it out of my head so I've just been kind of building on the fact that most of Michael's anxiety and insecurity stem from his doubts about his secondary and his doubts on his relationship with Jeremy and his like. Blatant distaste for Christine because honestly... guys. It's sad. Christine is so chill with her secondary. Or so it seems. O.O But anyways, y'know, Michael hates her for it, that kind of thing and because she holds Jeremy's affections. Or so he thinks. Well. Ok, she kinda does. It's complicated. If you wanna. Find out. Stick around. :D <3


End file.
